Contemplating my return home…

This being my first time blogging, I have focused primarily on what I thought were entertaining photos and videos of my travels, with minimal content. But, blogging generally includes one’s thoughts and reactions to experiences in life.

Just prior to my departure for a month in France, on Sunday, April 24, France conducted the second round of its presidential election in which Mr. Macron bested Ms. Le Pen, 58.55% to 41.45%. The world watched as this election symbolized two warring factions in the world today: modernization and liberalism vs. laissez-faire isolationism.

The French just may have saved the world by electing to proceed collectively into the unknown future, rather than trying to recapture some romanticized version of the past. It was a great moment of triumph for the democratic world, and I was emotional watching on live tv in Bordeaux, the re-inauguration of President Emmanuel Macron on May 7. Vive la France!

Since then, I have kept up with current events though I have refrained from commenting on much of it. The war in Ukraine. The leak of the Supreme Court draft ruling on Roe v. Wade. The mounting effects of climate change. The human atrocities in Buffalo and Uvale. The NRA convention in Houston. And the shrill tenor of hyper-partisanship in US politics.

As my time here in France winds down and I approach my return to America, I am left feeling ambivalent. Of course, it will be nice to be back among familiar settings, language, and people. On the other hand, I somewhat dread the thought of returning to my violent country.

This thought bothers me. So, I’ve taken some time to examine my feelings around it, to better understand why I partially dread returning to the United States.

When planning my trip to France, I wondered whether a month was too short, or too long, or would I be ready to return at the end? I am so thankful to have had this opportunity, and feel it was just right. But if so, why am I feeling any trepidation at returning to the United States?

I’ve titrated it down to one, critically important word: RESPECT.

While in France, I have experienced this wonderful sense of shared respect…

Toward others (they always greet with a “Bonjour!” and then wish you a “Bonne journée!”. They say, “Madame” and “Monsieur” and “merci”! They speak quietly in public, don’t violate personal space or privacy, and value human interaction over cell phones.)

Of integrity (the French are honest, overwhelmingly fit and show great self-care)

Of human differences (France is a modern, multi-cultural society)

Of those less able (there are accommodations everywhere, of all types for people with disabilities)

Of the earth (they are avid recyclers (and cyclers!), using minimal plastics, and keep clean their cities and countryside), and

Of knowledge (there are tons of bookstores still in France!).

Being treated with respect allows me to feel welcome and safe to be me. Lack of respect, or outright disrespect, leaves one feeling unwelcome, suspicious of others’ intentions, and uncertain, even defensive, of a personal sense of self and safety.

So, the Respect Quotient is high here in France. And, I believe it is low in the US which is why, at its core, I feel anxious about returning. I don’t want to see again how we, as Americans have become hardened by societal disrespect and bullying and in turn, distrustful of “other” Americans. After all, distrust leads to a defensive stance, ready at a trigger’s notice to go on offense.